DOUBTS

There days that your heart will be filled with doubts, days when uncertainty will grow a voice and you will battle asking yourself will this ever come through, is this the will of GOD for my life.

Last week my best friend and I were walking back from practice near game lugogo, there’s a coffee place there that we swore we’d go when we make it in life and this was another day gone and we were walking passed it, same thoughts so I told him, “ Perry am tired of living this way am tired of Uganda.” it’s not that I don’t love my country, I love it but I know in order to accomplish my dreams I have to leave and its come to a point in my life when I want to wake up knowing am going to do what I love. So I sat on a boda back home and my mind was racing, asking myself questions of if all these years I've been chasing something that I won’t be able to attain and I asked GOD if this wasn't the path that I should take wouldn't he send me a sign of some sort. Life has to be more than this, there has to be a chance that a man can have a dream and be able to make it a reality.

So as the boda neared home I told myself instead of doubting my faith, my dreams and above all the power of the most high I should be thankful for how far I have come, all that I have and hold onto my faith. True faith is Timeless; it can only be interrupted by two things....doubts or manifestation: - Dave Meyer.  So now whenever doubt creeps up on me I remind myself of how far I have come, I let go of the things I can’t handle and trust them to GOD, I learn to be excited for tomorrow because it might be the day my dreams become a reality.

So whatever you’re going through hold out and have faith. No situation is permanent just as the tides of the ocean, there times when the tides will be high and they will be times when there low, guess this is another day to keep fighting for this. BEAUTIFUL DAY PEOPLE.

FREEDOM

All I want is to be free, to have the power to do what I want when I want to, to take care of the ones I love and not worry about what tomorrow brings...that’s what my brother said when I asked him what would be his one wish if he had one. I guess that’s what everyone is looking for, to break that chains that the world has on us, to find fulfillment in each day you’re blessed with, to be able to make a difference in the lives of the people you’re close to.

There’s nothing in my opinion that hurts than to be powerless to help, sometimes days come that we fill powerless but it’s always been hard to give up on something that you want even when people tell you different, so we push on looking for that escape that freedom that will grant us peace, different countries, different languages, different dreams but one goal.........to be free.

So that’s what I want for myself and I guess for everyone,  guess that’s what makes life precious, that you don’t get to do a redo or have a ground hogs day.......so you live fighting to get out of the rat race. The beauty is that impossibility is a state of mind, we can break free and someday I will be free.

Ps: I just pictured myself sitting on a horse and reciting every word from brave heart lol....but the best quote in that movie must be this. “Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it.”

Delayed Gratification

Lately I’ve been reading a book by Bill Hybels entitled who you are when no one’s looking and it’s opened my eyes to most of my short comings in my life so just wanted to share the part that stood out for me and how it relates to my life. Wikipedia defines delayed gratification generally as the act  associated with resisting a smaller but more immediate reward in order to receive a larger or more enduring reward later, with that said if your close to me then you basically know what I want to become but the thing is all this time I have been praying and just waiting for the miracle to fall on my lap without doing the work that would make my dream a possibility. Usually we fall in love with certain things that take our breath away but we then fall victims to our own laziness or depression because we don’t know how we will achieve what we think is so out of reach.

The first thing that should spar us on is the love its self for whatever we want to be, where ever we want to go, instead of looking at the problem we should find the solution, in my case I need to be physically fit in order to do what I love but when the morning comes and I have to go for my morning jog then my inner battle starts to rage, the sheets are too comfy I tell myself, just ten more minutes, or better yet I went yesterday so I guess I can rest today but that’s where we need delayed gratification, the discipline to say to our bodies, whatever situation where in, you know what I have to go through this jog so I reap what I sow, I have to work harder so I can go for that trip that I want to go so bad, don’t let the situation rule you find a solution and start on the path to implement it.

Last but not least and this is the most important thing I have learnt, no situation is bigger than God, trust in him to lead you, to give you strength when your body fails you, when your making excuses, let him handle the bigger problems just do your part. The world lucks dreamers, don’t be afraid to dream, take steps each day to make what is a dream a reality, never settle for second best, push through and work hard and some day it will dawn and you will find that you are the person you were dreaming of......apply delayed gratification in your life....I am.

So leaving you with song its playful and livens up my mood when am sad....be blessed people.

COME FORTH NEW YEAR

Life.....it’s a beautiful thing, the uncertainty that comes with each day, the preciousness of your next breath, quantifiable in words or numbers.

Time spent trying to find meaning in our existence, dreams sparing us on to the finish line that is a smile that might just last more than a minute.

So this year has come to an end and hopes that should have bore fruit are still clinging to the branch that is my heart, like a tree my roots are still planted strongly in the ground, my faith food to the leaves that are my hopes, desires....my life with a prayer that soon they will create a shade strong enough for those I love, that is what I seek.

So come forth new year, hold my hand and lead me to that finish line and although I know this journey will be long and hard, nothing worthwhile comes easy, one thing I have learnt is that good things come to those who wait......on GOD, so I will wait.

PS: dear reader it’s been a long year full of huddles, some I jumped over and some I fell, perfection isn’t in me or us but still I search for it, that the day might come when reality is a mirror image of my dream......it’s something worth waking up to, and I hope that as your year ends your heart is content. If not push on like I am.........soon something will change.

                                                        Merry Christmas and a Happy new year.

writers block

All good things come to those who wait..........on GOD. If you ever find something that makes you smile, laugh and sometimes cry because it’s the perfect definition of the word love.....it truly is a gift from the Heavens. It seems that each day that goes by am learning to be more appreciative of the things I have at this very moment am not where I want to be but am glad that am not where I was.

I wish I could write words every time that would keep you glued to this screen, but I guess there some parts of this story that are yet to be written, yet to be understood before laying them down onto this, seems am starting to bubble so will end this entry here, just thought I would update my blog.

THE STORY

My hand will always be outstretched waiting for your reach, clasp it and let the warmth it bears remind you  of home regardless of where we are and if the days ahead are filled with uncertainty, find peace knowing that I will brave the unchartered moments of life by your side.

Let me be the reflection that stares back at you and gives you courage to get you through just as you are mine. Words have always been beautiful if these cut to reach your soul, if they touch your heart and by chance be just one reason it beats even once, then they would have done their job but atlas I hope that in our old age you can say, “my man was a man of action”, That where my words failed me my actions carried us through to new heights.

I have been blessed to find love; I have been blessed to find you my confidant, my friend, my other half. My only regret is that I did not find you earlier, that the time I lost cannot be replaced but again I say my hand will always be outstretched waiting for yours that is our story.

     

THE THOUGHT OF GIVING UP

Last Sunday I lay on my back bleeding from my mouth running my tongue through my teeth to check if I had lost one of my teeth, my upper lip had split and I knew something was wrong with my left big toe...I guess you can tell when there's something wrong. I think I had blacked it in the middle of the fall, all I could remember was the ball coming towards me, I saw Alvin running for the flick on I jumped and boom next time I open my eyes am on the floor and all it took was 5 minutes....I had been on the pitch for 5 minutes!!!!

Four weeks before give or take I got an mcl grade two tear(medial collateral ligament) grade 2 for those who don't know is when u partially tear the ligament on your knee and well it hurts and you have to be out for four to 8  weeks and that was our 1st pre-season game. So there' me lying on my back bleeding and thinking Junior maybe it’s time for you to give up on this dream, obviously things aren't going well, am busting my chops off to be in the best shape I can be but injury after injury maybe, I dare not say but maybe I should give up.

Now you have to understand for me to even think that is taboo in my mind, football to me is like water to a fish. fish - water = death, OK I wouldn't die but it would take what I think and know is my identity, I believe that GOD gave everyone something that makes them happy regardless of the circumstance or would like to think that you do, well to me that's football, to be honest I don't think I have found anything in my life that rivals the feeling of scoring a goal, don't know if that's a bad thing but I can’t explain it, its magical!! So after the ref saw that I wasn't getting up and maybe the sight of blood on my shirt he blew the whistle they carried me off tried to patch my lip which I must say looked horrible, I told one of the coaches there's something wrong with my toe, so they removed my ADIDAS fair plays( Adidas hope you see that am endorsing you lol)  removed my socks and guess what, my big toe is dislocated facing the opposite direction and the dude that's working on me has the nerve to ask....is that how your toe normally looks!!!!??? Because am in pain I don't really have my sarcastic answer so I say no, he rubs some stuff on it and then snaps it back!

so not to drag on I felt really down that all that had happened but read somewhere that when your almost about to give up is when your break through is around the corner, so I guess what am trying to say is that a lot of things happen to us one after another and sometimes we get the thought of giving up but don't tie a knot and hold on sooner than later it will get better. 3 days after the whole ordeal I was back to practice, my lip still looks like a bad lip job lol but will survive am thankful that it wasn't a major injury and still chasing that elusive first season goal and its coming soon. BE BLESSED.